She's moved twelve times.

Two countries. Three states. Twelve different addresses. Eighteen different roommates.

Lately she finds herself walking down the streets gazing wistfully into the windows at places like Crate and Barrel and West Elm.

While most of her friends are starting to worry that they will never have kids, she's starting to worry that she may never own a couch.

"Like the day between morning and evening, my life falls between my urge to travel and my homesickness. Maybe someday I will have come far enough for travel and distances to becomes part of my soul, so that I will have their images within me, without having to make them literally real anymore." -Wandering, Hermann Hesse

Degrees

Love and hate. Comeplete opposites, yet lately they seem to go hand and hand in her world. Because, you see, it's not the sentiment that makes them equal, it's their intensity.

Pursuance

She's made some crazy decisions in her life. But she's made them all with the motivation of living with no regrets. The only unanswered questions are the ones she's not responsible for answering.

Previous Incarnations

She listens to him recount his recent visit to the British Museum and her heart aches.

She remembers when the British Museum used to be hers. Back when she had the luxury of visiting as often as she wanted. For periods as long or as short as she wanted. When she had no need to worry about seeing it all at once, as she knew she would be back again next week.

As she snaps out of her daydream and returns to the conversation at hand, her heart aches again as she realizes that she will one day feel the same about Manhattan.

Love and Dissonance

Sometimes she wonders how it's possible to love them both so much, to want both of them and yet neither of them at the same time.

She's always jealous when she hears how happy they are together. She remembers the sun-soaked summer days and laughter so vividly. Thinking about it makes her nostalgic for the intensity that has eluded her ever since.

But she can't deny the feelings she gets from the second. The buzz, the energy, the constant anticipation. It's still new to her - even after all this time.

She loves them equally, but for different reasons, yet is frustrated that maybe neither is right for her.